It's a new week!

And I am ready for it!

This weekend I sold some old broken necklaces at the 'we buy gold!' place. I guess it was a pawn shop? The necklaces have been accumulated over the last decade or so, as I always thought I would go get them fixed. Bah. Just sell them for scrap. We also sold some of Triple S' old earrings. I also took more clothes for consignment. Slowly but surely cleaning house! My goal is to keep this up and get rid of something every week. I have to start finding something for this week...

I have also been sorting through Beanie's clothes as she (rapidly) outgrows them. I kept gender-neutral things and got rid of stuff I didn't like. I did keep some girl things that I really thought were cute. Clothes we didn't want went to two of Triple S' coworkers. I also have lots of baby gear to get rid of - some of it we never even used! Some we tried, but either I didn't like or Beanie didn't like.

I read on one of the minimalist's blogs, or perhaps on the FlyLady, that the money is gone when you bought the junk. So don't think that you are throwing it away now! I just try to remember that.

Triple S and I sorted ourselves out. I am not really a jump-up-and-down happy kinda person anyway. I am happy for him that his career looks like it is going well. I explained to him that I am happy and proud and feel like it is going well. But, this move is hard on me and us. It's a lot of work! The thing I am REALLY happy about - the generous moving package they offered - someone else can pack up all of our crap! (which should be less than it is right now, but it's still gonna be a lot).

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I heard a story on NPR the other day about a look back at the Feminine Mystique.  The guest mentioned how in the 60's the mom's were criticized about how they took care of their kids and husbands and also had limited job opportunities! That must have sucked! I just think, how did our country go so wrong back in the 50's 60's. Getting kids on schedules, pushing formula (I think formula is a great option if something is not working, but shouldn't be the first choice), and all the other crazy things I've heard about. Those kids somehow managed to survive, but it has trickle down effects into society, no? How a mother treats her child and is herself treated by the father affects a kid's personality and development and their expectations.

From what I have learned, there are two ways to handle life. You can let negative things become internalized, and spit those negative things back out, at your wife or kids or at those around you. Or, you can try to do things differently. So, if you came from an abusive house, you could become an abuser or you can try to escape the cycle and make a conscious effort to avoid doing what was done unto you. This goes for basically anything - you can be reactionary or actionary.  Like the movie "Precious" (which we just got around to seeing earlier this month).

I try to be an 'attachment' parent. But then my upbringing casts doubts, and I worry that I might be coddling Bea or letting her get away with too much. She is starting to get to the age where she should learn that some things are permissible and some aren't. (And I have been consistently pointing such things out since forever, but she is at the age now where she *should* be understanding and responding!!!)

I am not ready to say that she is at the age that she can be disciplined, because I haven't figured out what that means to me yet. I don't have a really good example of discipline from my life that speaks to me. Actually, what I am doing is my definition of discipline, it's just the way that is more work for the mama. Right now I am just doing a lot of picking her up from the dog's water bowl, setting her on the other side of the kitchen, watching her as she crawls back over there and picking her up again. Repeat about 10 times while I am cooking dinner. And doing this for 20 other crazy things. I can be patient!

I know what I don't want to do.

 I could spank her, or grab her violently, or yell at her like a banshee. I am sure she would 'get' it more quickly. But I am not going to do that. My parents would probably think I was crazy for doing what I am doing. Well, my mom would have just plopped me in the playpen. I prefer letting Bea explore.

We just watched the documentary "Babies" this weekend. It made me feel exhausted - more than a year for four kids in about an hour! But, I don't feel like I am too neglectful after seeing the mongolian mom leave her kid in the hut while she tended the animals - even tying the kid to the bed! And I think I can let Bea get dirtier after seeing the African kids sitting in the dirt sans pants.

Sorry, dear readers, I know these blog posts are rambling and not well written. But, it's a download! I think about many things, as I know you all do too. Rarely are those thoughts complete! And writing something here doesn't ever mean that I've made up my mind or know what I am doing or what I am talking about. It's about the process, right?

I'd love to know some of your thoughts on the topics I've touched here (the more half-baked the better!)